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Ys
ysabel
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May 2011
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Ys [userpic]

Spawned by a conversation with my husband (fenton, who may make a poll of his own, he's playing with his new permanent account) and his sister (zylch, who doesn't (yet) have a paid account and so just has a post on the subject).

Hypothetical situation: You throw an annual holiday party for your colleagues, who range in age from 23 to near on retiring. This is the only social event that you host/attend in a given year (no, not even having friends over for dinner or movies). You have two children whose ages range from 3 to 10 during the years that you do this.

ETA: It is generally polite to ask one way or another, when you're not the one hosting. In this poll I'm not talking about failing to ask or making blind assumptions, I'm asking, "What's the general cultural assumption/norm in your world?" At one point in the poll I made a comment about asking first; what I meant there was really something like, "It varies so much that I have to ask every time or I wouldn't know," or something along those lines, not "I ask to be polite." Just FYI.

Poll #511085 Parties and Children

How do you deal with your children during the party?

They're treated just like anyone else who's attending the party.
2(5.4%)
Allow the children to be present until their normal bedtime, at which point they are put to bed.
17(45.9%)
Feed them dinner early, present them briefly to your colleagues, and then send them to go play quietly in their rooms. (Think Sound of Music.)
3(8.1%)
Don't allow them to meet the guests at all. Demand that they play quietly in their rooms the whole time. If possible, pretend that they don't exist. (Think Harry Potter.)
1(2.7%)
Something else. (see below)
7(18.9%)

If not one of the above, how do you deal with it?

Do you expect the same basic convention when you go to a party someone else is hosting?

Yes
11(29.7%)
Yes, but I ask first because it varies in my social group
13(35.1%)
No, most of the parties I go to have different standards
5(13.5%)
Something else. (see below)
7(18.9%)

Other parties-and-children expectations:

If you have kids, do you expect to bring them with you to most parties? Do you expect other people to bring their kids to most parties you go to?

Yes, it's rare that I go to a party where children aren't expected
6(18.2%)
Yes, but there are generally arrangements made there for the kids seperate from the adults
6(18.2%)
No, parties are for getting away from the kids
7(21.2%)
Something else. (see below)
12(36.4%)

Yet more other parties-and-children expectations:

Do these expectations change significantly in your mind based on whether the party/gathering is "formal" or "informal"? (For these purposes, assume "formal" means "the most formal thing I ever bother to go to/host"...if you don't ever go to White Tie dinners, then don't answer as to what you would expect there. This is about what you generally do/assume/experience.)

Yes, very different assumptions between formal and informal gatherings
19(54.3%)
Only subtle or occasional differences
6(17.1%)
No, not really all that different
7(20.0%)
Something else. (see below)
2(5.7%)

What else about formality?



I'm sure I forgot some important bits. Feel free to tell me in comments.

Current Mood: curiouscurious
Comments

We have a friend who calls the child our "rage scion".

He's never even MET the kid. *chortle*