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Ys
ysabel
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May 2011
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Ys [userpic]

I am very pro-sex (yeah, I know, all of you are going, Duh!) and, at least in theory, pro-legalized-prostitution. I also believe that prostitution as it currently stands is very harmful, but I'd had a lot of trouble sorting out how to make that concrete, because it's not just that it's illegal.

ginmar posted on the subject, and her post and the threads therein did a lot to help put words to many of the issues I have. I particularly liked the idea of decriminalization and making buying illegal but selling legal, so that the focus is on the ones abusing the power. The discussion also gelled my frustration with the fact, IMNSHO, that with our current culture and its fucked-up assumptions about sex and gender, it's probably not possible to sell sex without it being generally societally harmful (and even if it is possible, it requires such odd exception situations that they're pretty much down in the noise anyway).

But I also got into a conversation about whether it's possible to sell services that happen to include sex, in the ideal case, without getting into that harmful reinforcement of Bad Things™ or commoditizing sexual access to women's bodies. Such a discussion doesn't address the larger issues (and can in fact distract from and derail discussion of them), and is really more about philosophy in general than about real issues, of course. So I wanted to bring some of the philosophy parts over here...and incidentally indulge my curiousity as to what folks reading me think.

Is sex fundamentally different than other services, even in an ideal world? I would argue no, and (to quote myself from over there), here's the gist of my argument:

From a personal perspective, I don't see [such] services as any different than the idea that I periodically pay a good friend of mine (with whom I spend other time doing things together) who also happens to be a licensed massage therapist to massage my body and help me get rid of muscle knots and the like. Assuming that I liked/trusted [said person] enough to be willing to let her that close to me, then in both cases I'm paying someone I like and/or trust to do something for me that involves no small amount of work on their part.

As far as I can tell, though, that sort of exchange is nothing like what prostitution normally looks like. I'm talking about paying for someone's time and effort, not paying for "sex" or for access to their body or what have you. And, significantly, I can pay someone of any gender for their time and effort; it doesn't require any particular anatomy, just my trust and their willingness to do the work I'm wanting to pay for.
To me, there is a big difference to paying for someone's time and effort and paying for access to someone's body, and I would assert that prostitution as it currently stands is generally the latter. But I would also assert that it's possible, in an ideal world, for the former to include sex. Do you agree? Why or why not?

And yes, this is really just the philosophical bits, the things that are in your worldview inherent to services, economic transactions and sex independent of cultural hangups.

Current Mood: thoughtfulthoughtful
Comments

Charlie Sheen once said he paid for sex not for the sex (which he could get anyway) but for the woman to not expect anything more from him. The appeal for me would be that the male prostitute couldn't tell me later that I was "too sexually demanding" at some later date. Though that hardly matters. I'm "too everything" at some point. I've been "too smart, too critical, too active, too confusing, too dedicated..." just once I'd like someone to break up with me by saying I'm not enough of something. OK, I got off subject.

In order for prostutution to be OK, the person can't be "selling their body" but rather "selling a service." Maybe then, they would be respected for that service, and the skillset they bring to it, rather than denegraded.