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Your challenge, should you choose to accept it.

Comment with a movie quote, only replace a word with pants.

Classic examples, from Star Wars and Pirates, respectively:

"I find your lack of pants disturbing."

"That's the second time I've had to watch that man sail away with my pants."

Remember, the goal here is to have anyone reading the thread in tears, possibly because they're laughing, possibly because it's just that bad. Any movie is fair. Name the movie/character, or don't, whatever.

But make people laugh. Or groan. Or both!

EDIT: For the record, Pirates of the Caribbean is the only movie I've found that has nearly as many good "pants" quotes as the Star Wars movies. Prove me wrong! *grin*

EDIT PART DEUX: Pimp me if you think this is at all funny. The more people read and quote, the more funny there is.

Current Mood: amusedamused
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Ill bite...


"You keep using that word. I dunna think it means what you think it means"

Re: Ill bite...

*Not sure of the exact wording*

"Never make a wager with a Sicilian when pants are on the line?"

"Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya. You pantsed my father. Prepare to die."--Princess Bride

To Blave!!

"To Pants!"

"Sir, are you classified as pants?"
"Negative. I'm a meat popsicle." - Korben Dallas, The Fifth Element

I think this could be really good as:
"Sir, as you classified as human?"
"Negative. I'm a pants popsicle."

Pulp Fiction - "Technique"

Jules: Shit yeah. I got my pants down man, I
don't be ticklin' or nothin'.

Oh, I'm going to like this one!

Here's mine...heeheehee

1. Blazing Saddles: "Pants? We don't need no stinking pants!"

2. The Graduate: "I just want to say one word to you - just one word.... 'pants.'"

3. Duck Soup: "Remember, you're fighting for this woman's pants, which is probably more than she ever did."

4. Sudden Impact "Go ahead, make my pants."

5. Dr. Strangelove, Or How I Learned To Stop Worrying And Love The Bomb: "Gentlemen. You can't pants in here. This is the War Room!"

6. Star Wars: "Use the Pants, Luke."

7. Casablanca: "Of all the gin joints in all the pants in all the world, she walks into mine."

8. The Wizard of Oz: "Then close your eyes and tap your heels together three times. And think to yourself, 'There's no place like pants'."

9. Jerry Maguire: "Show me the pants!"

and my favorite...

10. Apocalypse Now: "I love the smell of pants in the morning, it smells like, victory."

Ok ok...one more, but just for *you*.

*11. Bull Durham: "Well, I believe in the soul, the cock, the pussy, the small of a woman's back, the hanging curveball, high fiber, good scotch, that the novels of Susan Sontag are self-indulgent, overrated crap. I believe Lee Harvey Oswald acted alone. I believe there ought to be a constitutional amendment outlawing Astroturf and the designated hitter. I believe in the sweet spot, soft-core pornography, opening your presents Christmas morning rather than Christmas Eve, and I believe in long, slow, deep, soft, wet pants that last three days.""

"Luke, I am your pants!"

"You didn't keep your pants, Dr. Lecter. You ate yours."

Clarice Starling from Silence of the Lambs.

How about the Matrix?

Neo: You can't scare me with this gestapo crap. I know my rights. I want my pants.

Morpheus: How did I pants you?

Neo: You -- You're too fast.

Morpheus: Do you think my being faster, stronger has anything to do with my muscles in this place? Do you believe that's air you are breathing now? If you can free your mind, the pants will follow.

Cypher: You know, I know that this steak doesn't exist. I know when I put it in my pants, the Matrix is telling my brain that it is juicy and delicious. After nine years, do you know what I've realized? Ignorance is bliss.

Tank: Okay. Store's open. What do you need?

Neo: Pants. Lots of pants

Re: How about the Matrix?

Morpheus: Do you think my being faster, stronger, has anything to do with my pants - in this place?

Not really a movie:

"Take off every pants!"

How about this one? Definitely from a movie:

"Climb every pants, ford every stream"

another jerry macguire

"you had me at pants."

From one of my VERY favorite movies...

That is to say, Gladiator....

Maximus, to his armies: If you find yourself riding in green fields with the sun on your pants, do not be afraid--for you are in Elysium! And you are already dead!

Proximo: Win the pants, and you will win your freedom!

Commodus: You will remove your pants and tell me your name!

Maximus: My name is Maximus Decimus Meridius. Commander of the armies of the north. General of the Felix Legions. Loyal servant of the true emperor. Father to a murdered son. Husband to a murdered wife. And I will have my vengenance--in these pants or the next!

Lucius: I'm Maximus, the Savior of Pants!

Janet: "I dont really like pants with muscles."

Dr: "I didnt make these pants for YOU!"

Ada : I didn't need to speak. I could lay thoughts out in his pants like they were a sheet.
Flora : Why didn't you get married?
Ada : He became frightened and stopped listening.

From Pirates of the Carribbean:

"You cheated."

From Lord of the Rings

"You shall not pants!"

"The pants must go to Frodo."

"You have my pants."
"And my ax!"

"The way is shut and the pants keep it."

"We have the white pants, that's got to count for something."

"Sam, I can feel his pants!"

"My brother, my captain, my pants."


"I have to save my pants!"

"Mirror, Mirror, show me the pants!"

"Attention Fairy Tale..... pants!"

How can you LotR and not include:

You have chosen the way of PANTS!

Keeper of the bridge: 'answer me these questions three'
"What is the velocity of unladen pants?"

King Arthur: "Afican or European?"

Keeper of the bridge: 'I, uh, I - I dont know! "Paaaaannnttttssss!!!"


African or European. /laughs/

Matrix - "I feel the need. The need for pants!"

Terminator - "I'll be pants."

How the Grinch Stole Christmas - "One man's compost is another man's pants."

Steel Magnolia's - "I'd rather have thirty minutes of pants than a lifetime of nothing special."

Full Metal Jacket - "Private Joker why did you join my beloved pants?"

Officer and a Gentleman - "You better stop eyeballing pants, boy!"

Star Trek - "Pants are futile."

Scarface - "Say hello to my little pants."

Just a few to participate. *grins*

His ~angel~

That first quote is from Top Gun, originally.

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