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Ys
ysabel
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May 2011
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Ys [userpic]

siderea has written yet another wonderful post, this one on the subject of attitudes. I strongly recommend reading the whole thing.

Current Mood: impressedimpressed
Comments

That's a completely awesome post, thanks.

I have to disagree with the post. Yes, it is blaming the victim, and it makes me sad that it documents what I've been afraid might be so: that therapists/counselors in this country promote smug self-centeredness and ignore the other approaches to life--notably, doing what one thinks one should do. It's based on a pernicious dualism--either your attitude is Helpful or it is Not Helpful. Personalities differ; relative hierarchies of importance differ; a person is not maladjusted or "an enabler" for not being a "me, me, me!" reflex smiler.

I suppose it's kind of inevitable, since these people's work focuses on "fixing" people. But even using the health metaphors they tend to use--and that she uses--there are multiple modalities for being acceptably healthy. And some people want to be fit; others want to be healthy. Not to mention that some people simply cannot run a 5-minute mile; others can tie themselves into pretzels, but for one reason or another, will never be able to swim; some people (for example, males), will never be able to bear a child, while others will need medical intervention to do so.

I thought as a society we were starting to learn these non-dualistic lessons; in particular with the widening awareness of gender issues. I don't regard "You can be as cantankerous as you like on the inside" and "I won't disgnify that with a response" as recognition of differing life goals, let alone differing challenges.

Disappointing and alienating.

M