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Ys
ysabel
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Disclaimer: This is a rant. While I am not intentionally exaggerating, I am also not presenting all sides of the story. This is a distillation of my frustrations and is not intended as an accurate picture of the whole situation. There is more to this story. But this is about me venting, not about trying to tell the story.

Also, before anyone says anything, yes, I know that there aren't acceptable answers for many (all?) of the questions. I'm trying to vent in a semi humorous fashion, not write a legitimate poll for people to answer.

Edit: Dammit, I missed an All of the above option on #8! Bah. My humor, foiled by my own mistake! *shakes fist* (The last two are supposed to not have one.)

Poll #454481 What Would You Do?

You've moved into someone's house. They let you live there free of charge and pay for the majority of your food, and they pay you a couple hundred dollars a month so that you can pay for things like car insurance and student loan payments, and they offer to help you figure out tuition at a community college nearer their house than the one you go to currently. They also have a fast internet connection which you can use. They tell you that they do this because they found your previous situation so bad that they wanted to help you get out of it and get yourself established. They say that they'll want some help around the house and occasionally some help with getting a business going that one of them is trying to start. Do you:

Stop taking college classes?
1(4.8%)
Fail to look for any sort of job?
0(0.0%)
Play MMORPGs all day?
5(23.8%)
Complain about other people in the house using up the network bandwidth?
3(14.3%)
Do the absolute minimum you're asked to do (about an hour a day, often less), and try to get out of chores at every turn?
2(9.5%)
Try to manage to do less than any of the other residents of the household?
0(0.0%)
All of the above?
10(47.6%)

The new business involves working on weekends, because that's when events happen. They ask you to help haul stuff, set up and tear down the booth, and occasionally man the booth and sell things. They generally manage to respect your religious belief that Saturdays are a day of rest and avoid asking you to work those days, but often the events require being somewhere away from the house and computer for a weekend. Do you:

Complain about being asked to work like this?
1(4.8%)
Whine that you can't play games without a computer and/or network connection?
4(19.0%)
Since some events are up in the mountains, borrow their camera and go hiking on the Saturday you're not asked to work while they're stuck manning the booth, and then later complain to them about how sore you are from hiking so far?
6(28.6%)
All of the above?
10(47.6%)

You have some dietary restrictions that clash badly with the things the other people in the household like to and/or will eat. They spend significant extra money on food so that they can take extra time to make things that you are willing to eat, even when that often involves making seperate dishes to keep everything sorted out. One of them is allergic to certain things you happen to like, and she is incidentally the one who does most of the cooking. Do you:

Whine about having to fend for yourself every time they choose not to make a special meal for you?
3(14.3%)
Comment about how odd food tastes without the things the other member of the household is allergic to, and mention how much you miss it?
3(14.3%)
Dodge any suggestions that you could try cooking for the household now and then if you wanted something specific?
4(19.0%)
All of the above?
11(52.4%)

You are uncomfortable with nudity. They are very relaxed about nudity in the house in general. One of the members of the household needs to spend time partially nude in order to care for her sugery site, and the most comfortable place to do this is in the living room in her recliner. Your favorite place to sit is also in the living room. Do you:

Spend the whole time sitting there being as obviously uncomfortable as you can whenever she's there?
5(25.0%)
Let her see your relief when she leaves?
1(5.0%)
Be quietly pleased when she chooses to never spend time with her spouses because they are in the living room and you are clearly uncomfortable when she is around, and her being somewhere else means you don't have to feel uncomfortable?
3(15.0%)
All of the above?
11(55.0%)

They have a hot tub, which they regularly use in the nude. Guests occasionally come over and use the tub and also tend to use the tub nude. Do you:

Avoid ever going out there when a guest is present?
6(30.0%)
Complain that you don't like being in the tub alone?
0(0.0%)
Get all uncomfortable anytime you do decide you're willing to use the tub (with shorts on, of course)?
1(5.0%)
Complain that the tub is kept too hot for your tastes?
2(10.0%)
All of the above?
11(55.0%)

They find out how long it's been since you've seen a dentist, and take you to one at their expense. They end up spending several thousand dollars on getting your teeth fixed. Do you:

Buy a new MMORPG?
6(28.6%)
Complain that you don't have enough money to do some work on your car so it'll pass emissions?
4(19.0%)
All of the above?
11(52.4%)

One of them knows how to work on cars, so she buys parts for a tune up and offers to help you do the tune up and, if necessary, teach you how. Do you:

Stand there and watch her do the tune up?
4(19.0%)
Stand there and watch her fight with a part that won't come loose?
1(4.8%)
Complain that working on cars is so dirty?
5(23.8%)
All of the above?
11(52.4%)

They have cats. They have had trouble with the cats peeing outside of the pottyboxes before, but have managed to work out some nominal solutions that seem to be mostly working. You have a cat. Bringing in your cat starts some dominance issues and then some peeing problems, because of the change in dynamic. Do you:

Be mean to their cats because they're "beating up" your poor, defenseless cat?
4(19.0%)
Violate the shaky dominance hierarchy the cats have established, thus prolonging problems?
3(14.3%)
Complain about having to participate in the extra work necessitated by trying to cope with the issues introduced by your cats?
4(19.0%)
Stand around playing with the Palm Pilot they gave you while everyone else cleans up after the cats?
10(47.6%)

You generally take out the trash. You often miss certain trash cans, but you're pretty good about getting most of the trash out before the trash truck comes every week. The kitchen trash gets very full, and someone asks you to take it out. You tell them that it's already on your list of things to do and you'll get to it. You then spend the afternoon playing games and watching TV. When one of the other members of the household goes in to cook, she has to take the trash bag out of the can and put a new one in, because it's so full. She asks you then to take it outside, and you say you will. She goes out of her way to make a dinner that you can eat. After dinner, she reminds you that the trash bag is still in the kitchen. The other members of the household tend to easily forget tasks, and so they are in the habit of reminding each other about such things, regularly, because they are used to forgetting. Do you:

Snap at her?
3(14.3%)
Go into a whiny litany of the details of the half hour of work you did, and explain how that kept you from taking out the trash?
3(14.3%)
Add that you then felt nauseous and had to lie down, and that also kept you from taking out the trash?
4(19.0%)
All of the above?
11(52.4%)

She's worked her ass off all weekend, while you played most of the weekend. She loses her patience, cuts off your whine and says, "Shut the fuck up." Do you:

Shut the fuck up?
5(23.8%)
Put on your best petulant face and whiny tone and ask "Why?"
16(76.2%)

She tells you, bluntly. Do you:

Consider whether maybe you've overstepped a bound?
4(19.0%)
Take out the trash and do another load of dishes?
2(9.5%)
Take out the trash and do another load of dishes, but as noisily and full of pot banging and door slamming as you can, and then hide in your room afterwards?
15(71.4%)

Current Mood: relievedBetter, having vented some
Comments

Oo, oo, I want the option where the housepeeps kick the person out for being lazy!

haha

since this sounds like an unworkable situation,.. i picked the worst case for them all ,i certainly hope you never have to deal with someone half this bad,..o.o

Re: haha

I tried to keep everything on the poll to something which has actually happened in the last year or so.

Admittedly, there are lots of other things going on, and this is really just the negative stuff (and my biased perceptions of the situations at that), but still...

I vote that more rants should have polls!

I was going to say, Ysabel, that this reminded me of the old Mountain View days. I think every household had at least one of these, some of whom went on to their own households and had their own freeloaders.

WHEE!

I used to have a couple of housemates like this....

No, wait: that was my ex-husband and his girlfriend... ;-)

In the last month we've gotten ourselves into a similar (although thankfully not as bad) situation around here. It's been going very slowly downhill for the last week. I hope both our situations improve soon.

Sounds like someone is depressed and now is addicted to escapist MMORPGs, where s/he can completely withdraw from the world, and resents anything that would force him/her to come back to it.

When I am completely into a new computer game, I don't want to eat, and I resent anyone who calls me on the phone for just existing and forcing me to exist. But I outgrew that.

I don't know y'all enough to give advice, but it seems to me that I must be missing something if "The allowance goes away if you are not working in a month, we stop cooking special meals for you if you are not working in two months, and you are out of here if you are not working in three months" is not a good solution

Sounds like someone is depressed and now is addicted to escapist MMORPGs, where s/he can completely withdraw from the world, and resents anything that would force him/her to come back to it.

That sounds like a reasonably accurate summation of the situation as I see it, yeah.

Obviously there's more to the story. There's more I could rant about, but there's also reasons why it's not quite so clear a situation as this makes it sound. I'm not trying to explain what's up, I'm really just trying to vent my frustrations, and so you just get to see the highlights (lowlights?) of the things I find most frustrating. And the subject of the rant has, indeed, made progress in the time they've been here. Significant progress, even.

Like I said, I'm not trying to be fair, here, I'm trying to vent my own bile so that I can be a reasonable human being.

If they truly are depressed and showing escapist tendencies, seeking treatment isn't a bad idea. I don't know about your area, but Seattle has all sorts of good resources for people who need counseling/therapy/drugs/whatever and have little or no income -- perhaps seeking help might be made a condition of his/her staying there?

And from there, moving on to getting a job/going back to school, etc. . . .

Sounds like a tough situation. :( Best wishes for all involved.

We have offered to pay for them to see our therapist, who is a great lady and a pretty damn good therapist. Though Amy's trying to see whether some of the diet (read: malnutrition) issues can be addressed first, as it seems more likely that therapy will give good results after that.

What sorts of services provide that there? As in, who is paying for such treatment? Is it church sponsored, government sponsored, etc. What I am ultimately interested in, if you have any idea, is where to look for cheap help for him. I am currently leaning toward paying the therapist we used, because she is freak friendly and a known quantity there. But she's also expensive, so I am interested in more info if you have it. Thanks.

There's some of all of the above. My church (the Catholic cathedral for the Archdiocese of Seattle) has some ministries where they provide care like that. The ones I was thinking of in particular are, I think, gov't sponsored, but I'm not actually sure (I looked into them once when I couldn't afford care, but never actually made it.)

Seattle has a large array of government-sponsored and non-profit mental health services. King County (Seattle's county) runs a mental health crisis hotline: Crisis Clinic but they also maintain a rather good list of local providers. There's also Seattle Mental Health, and King County maintains a rather large list of links for both regional and national services.

What I was more thinking of above was that I was referred to a couple of clinics. They were supported by other patients; in other words, if you could pay, you did, and if you couldn't, you didn't. So they got by on that and donations rather than government or church sponsorship.

I can't find the info for them right now. I'll see what I can come up with. I found out about them by talking to someone running a mental health study...

...which leads me to my last point. There are a few mental health research centers around here which frequently run depression/anxiety/etc. studies. Those who qualify get free treatment and sometimes even free medication. I wasn't selected fo rthe study, but the woman there helped me find free/reduced cost care.

Regarding "freak-friendly", I imagine this can be a difficult thing; it hasn't been a problem for me as anyone wanting to be a therapist in Seattle kind of has to be. :D I don't have any good suggestions there.

You forgot the last question on the poll...

Your housemates finally stop putting up with your laziness, whining, lack of basic courtesy and gratitude, and general asshattery. Do they:

(O)   tell you you need to move out, and when weeks pass and you don't make any move to go, they throw your things on the front lawn while you stand around not packing anything, change the locks on the house while you whine at them that they're doing it the wrong way, and they call the police when you try sleeping in their front yard rather than pick up your things and go.
(O)   tell you you need to move out, and when weeks pass and you don't make any move to go, they hire a couple of friends who do Klingon enactment for fun to follow you around the house in full costume and batleths, screaming at you in Klingon to pack your shit and go. The housemates sit, naked, in the living room, drinking tropical smoothies and enjoying the show.
(O)   figure that you're too incompetent and lazy to leave even if kicked out, so they give you a used car, a map, and a full tank of gas, they pack your things, change the locks on the house, and say "Go. Anywhere. We don't care. Just never come back."
(O)   tell you you need to move out, and when weeks pass and you don't make any move to go, they call the police. When the police have the full story from all sides, they say, "You're an asshole. I can't believe your friends put up with this." The police put you in the back of the squad car, carry your stuff to the driveway, and light it on fire while you watch. The police report calls it an accident, and you hear later that the officers involved have become friends with the housemates and even go over to use the hot tub from time to time.

*rofl*

Sounds like fun to me.

I can import some Klingons from Switzerland should it come to that...

The second one is the best. I love the idea of Klingon's running around and screaming whilst the household sits naked in the living room. Just the image is fantastic.

I liked em all. but...

...that last one *totally* kicks ass!!! =^D (The 2nd is awesome, too :)

Sounds like a very frustrating situation!!!

do you need help beating the shit out of someone?

I think #8 is a trick question. Other than that, I think I did pretty well. Er, if "well" means "quite dysfunctional" in this universe.

Sorry I am a goob about my email and missed your request. We really should manage that whole getting together thingie. And yeah, I am reminded of stories of plates and rafters and rabid dogs.