?

Log in

No account? Create an account
Ys
ysabel
..:: .::: .:: .::.::.:.: .. ..:: .::: .:: ....

May 2011
1 2 3 4 5 6 7
8 9 10 11 12 13 14
15 16 17 18 19 20 21
22 23 24 25 26 27 28
29 30 31

Ys [userpic]
My father is an ass.

What makes me say that today more than usual?

See, we're building a shed in our back yard. My stepfather is helping us (and I am so fucking grateful).

I used to do these sorts of projects with my dad, and he would spend the entire time telling me what I was doing wrong and how I was worse than useless and so forth.

I have this pathology sometimes where, if I'm not perfect, then I'm worthless. It's been my theory that this is largely spawned from crap like that from my dad. I've made some significant strides in coping with that.

It all came out today. I had to go inside and cry for a while.

When I took shop classes in junior high, my teachers were baffled why I got As in everthing but woodworking (wherein I got Fs).

This is why.

I feel like a freakin' idiot. I apologized to Dennis a couple of times, because it's not his fault that I was being stupid. (He's actually an excellent teacher when it comes to these things.) I finally just asked Joel to do a bunch of it.

Okay, so carpentry is still a button-ridden place.

I can't explain just how pissed off this makes me.

Current Mood: angryangry
Comments

I have the same problem; it seriously gets in the way of doing things. One mistake and the entire project goes in the trash, and often doesn't get restarted.

*hugs you*

It amazes me how some buttons just seem to creep up out of nowhere. There are things with my mom that pop up when I least expect it - usually when I think I'm past it. :(

I can't explain just how pissed off this makes me.

You don't need to. I once had a therapist suggest the reason I abuse and hate myself so much is that my father is no longer convenient to do it for me.

<hugs tightly> - if you want them.

Hugs from me, too.

*sad*